We have to talk about rape.

I am angry. A dear friend who I've loved for a long time recently came out as a rape survivor. I wish I could say I was shocked. I'm not. Rape is commonplace, and therefore I am angry. Disagree with my premise if you will, but I urge you to look it up. I've been shocked by the numbers, the chronic underreporting, the codes of silence and the constant belittlement of the survivors, so I am not shocked by one more sad story. I am angry, and my voice is my weapon.

All I can do is speak out. I will not fight anyone; I will not do violence to even the basest of my fellow humans. I WILL shed verbal light on rape culture, and I WILL work openly and constructively to manifest a world free of the oppression of patriarchy. I will tell the men in my circle that their joke is not funny:  it's all I can do. It's enough, though. Though I hope I never have to again, I will listen to the women who come out to me. I will BELIEVE THEM, and be angry on their behalf. It's all I can do, but it makes a difference.

One night when I was angry about rape, I went into a large field with a heavy bag - the kind one uses for boxing practice - and an aluminum baseball bat. I stood in that field and screamed till I was hoarse and beat that heavy bag like it was everything I had ever hated in the world. This was a beautiful night in my life because I learned that my anger was very real and very healthy. Some things are worth being angry about. I also learned that I can use that anger to fuel change. I am a different person because I met my anger that night. I urge all of you who are angry with me to beat the crap out of a heavy bag.

When you're done, come back and join the conversation. Let's talk about a future without patriarchy. Let's talk about a future where everyone gets to express strength and gentleness without being held to arbitrary gender-based standards. We're still a few generations away, but we're on our way. We still seem stuck on some dangerous old ideas about what it means to be men and women.

Rape is, at its core, an expression of patriarchal power. This is bad news because globally speaking, patriarchy is everywhere. However, this is good news because it means we can grow past it as a species. That growth starts with me and my anger.